The Inspiration Cafe

How often have you heard the cliche “there’s no I in team”?

When I hear it I always challenge it. I think it reflects a time when the voice of each individual was diminished in favour or some collective or organisational message. It reflects how disempowered we became and lost our identity as a unique, talented and confident individual with special talents to use in the world. Mostly it reflects corporate systems specifically designed to treat everyone in the same dehumanised way – simply as parts of a machine or a system to get a job done.

Watching the Canadian Olympic Ice Hockey Team gives me a completely new perspective on the value an individual brings to a team. These players are all highly skilled individuals – each with their own particular strength and unique contribution. They come together from their club teams all over the country and form what is intended to be the “top” team in the nation. AND they do so with only two days to practice together before they play their first game.

I think a real team, therefore, is one where each person recognises – and is so well recognised for – their own individual talent that when they join up with other people to achieve a goal, they operate seamlessly. They honour and value each other’s role. They are motivated to bring their contribution together and become more than the sum of their individual talents – and yet they totally know that only happens when they also acknowledge and respect those individual talents.

Can you imagine an organisation where teamwork truly happened in this way. That for each project the best and most appropriately talented people come together and commit their talent to it’s success? I think there are companies out there starting to work in this way now. There are many on-line communities being built around similar principles. And they’re moving the world forward by doing so.

Each coaching conversation where an individual comes to recognise their own talent and takes confidence in bringing it into the world – undiminished by others expectations or by corporate rules or strictures – each of those conversations is moving us forward too.

Oh – and yes the Canadian Hockey Team moved themselves forward in the Olympic Championships too. We’re heading for Gold!

Go Canada!

Go Coaches!

Aileen

One more learning from my series of ski lessons over recent weeks.

I noticed that when I’m with a group of other learners – and particularly when we have our trusted ski instructor, it is much easier for me to go beyond my own, self imposed limitations. When on the ski hill on my own, I would look at a slope and, if unsure of it, would turn away and find an easier way down. Being with a team of like-spirited learners, I felt encouraged to give it a go! Just having people around me going through the experience – some as hesitant as me, some more ready to push themselves – seemed to give an increased feeling of support, confidence and even daring! I certainly stretched myself and achieved more than if I’d spent those same hours on the hill skiing by myself in my habitual comfort zone.

One highlight was when the ski instructor asked me to lead the group down one of the slopes. This was a clever move by him since one of my challenges was keeping my speed under control – and the specific instruction was to lead the group down in a very controlled manner, with smooth, even turns. He was challenging me to lead others by overcoming the very weakness that was holding my skiing back. It was a beautiful run – totally in control and confident that others were following me.

So often when we’re working especially in corporate groups, we hear that “teamwork” is required. I’m not sure that people often stop to consider what it actually means and why being part of a team is beneficial.

For me, these skiing experiences are demonstrating the real value of being in a team. With others beside me I can lead from my own weaknesses and I can stretch myself to reach new experiences and new levels of achievement. In this case my “team” provided open, honest, trusting support to me – and at the same time honoured me as an individual, letting me go as far as I wanted to.

I think it’s time we really talked about what “teamwork” really means. I think it’s a much more meaningful level of trust, connection and belief than the textbooks can really describe.

Aileen

I’ve been very inspired by watching the winter olympics from Vancouver. My jaw drops at the amazing feats of speed, courage and skill that are demonstrated in disciplines such as Snowboard Half-Pipe, Arials Skiing, Ski Jumping, Luge and Ice Skating. I wonder to myself often how these athletes actually train themselves to accomplish these amazing feats.

And then I heard Dr. Greg Wells, a scientist who works in the field of extreme human physiology being interviewed. He explained that beyond the technical skills, the real secrets of success for these athletes lies in their mental preparation and focus. He showed examples of athletes using deep breathing before hurtling themselves over the edge of the luge track; using visualisation to envisage the flow of their skating routine and using positive self-talk to propel them onto a gold-medal winning moguls run.

“These athletes have actually trained themselves that fear is fun” he said.

This made me think of the relatively innocuous fears we (and our coaching clients) carry around with us. The fears that stop us stepping up to the plate in many moments of our daily lives. Fears which wouldn’t even register in the minds of these olympian boys and girls ( accomplishing so much, so young) as they find themselves soaring 50 feet or more above the ground or flying down a ski hill faster than some of us drive our cars.

I had my own small experience of retraining myself around my imaginary fears, as I progressed through my six week series of ski-lessons recently. I realised that my fears were creating a big drama that was stopping me developing my level of skill, confidence and enjoyment on the ski slopes. Once I saw it happening to me, I did, as Dr. Wells suggests, retrain myself by creating a different sensation and response to the drama. I quietened my mind and focussed instead on my breathing. Taking that one deep breath brought me to focus and then, with a quiet mind, I moved onto the steeper slope where I’d never skiid before. The next week, my body remembered that positive feeling, even while still driving to the ski hill. At the top of the first run, there was no fear drama playing out – I simply relaxed and let myself focus on what I’d been learning. It was a great ski class. I accomplished several runs I had never done before – without falling, with focus and with enjoyment.

I may not be an olympian and I might not yet consider double black-diamond runs as “fun”. What I did learn though is that we do each have the capacity – whatever level of performance we’re at – to shift the fears that are holding us back unnecessarily and to raise our game. We shift them not by analysing, overthinking or engineering ways to avoid them. We shift them by trusting our inner confidence and our bodies capacity to take us beyond what we’ve experienced before.

And that’s what we always hope our coaching clients will experience too!

Aileen

“Our challenge is to imagine a world where our wealth is in human relations and where we learn to live in balance with the rest of nature. By imagining a future, we can make it happen – as we always have”.

(David Suzuki, quoted from Synchronicity Magazine, Issue 99, February 2010)

I have so many stories and experiences of  clients imagining something for their future during a coaching conversation – and then making it happen by the actions and next steps they commit too.

If we could connect and add up all these steps taken as a result of individual coaching conversations – we surely would be seeing a new future emerging. Let’s imagine….

Aileen

Yesterday Jodi and I had a conversation about what is at the essence of our work. Today, I start to read The Blue Sweater, by Jacqueline Novogratz, the Founder of the Acumen Fund and in the opening paragraph I read:

“…we could – and therefore we must – create a world in which every person on the planet has access to the resources needed to shape their own lives. For this is where dignity starts. Not only for the poor – but for all of us”

Our intention for Inspired Future is to open the way for people who, whilst appearing rich in the material aspects of their lives, with decent jobs, cars, homes and food on the table, are growing poorer all the time in terms of their connection to each other, to hope and possibility and to their own inner resources – resources like self-belief, awareness, acceptance and the capacity to make choices – which shape their lives and give the capacity to truly create an Inspired Future.

Perhaps at some point in that Inspired Future our work will cross paths with the work of people like Jacqueline Novogratz (actually Gary’s work with Between4Eyes is already creating such connection) so that we realise what it is to grow “richer” together.

I can’t wait to get through her book and to the last chapter titled “The World we Dream, the Future we Create Together”…in fact I think I’ll jump right into that future and start reading at the end!”

As Coaches we always want to start with the future picture!

I have a sense this is an important book. I’ll keep you posted.

Aileen

“To do anything, the first requirement is that we become quiet. It is in this space of stillness that truths surface, understandings expand and creativity blossoms.”

This quote from Anne D. LeClaire, author of “Listening Below the Noise” reminds us of the power of those silent moments in a coaching conversation!

In silence,

Aileen

I just received an invoice from one of our suppliers. On it she writes:

“Thank you for giving me the opportunity to shine”.

I love that! What a great impression it created with me. The work she did for us did indeed SHINE very brightly and showed her talent beautifully. I love that she claims her light and allows herself to shine in this way.

As Coaches we are always supporting our clients to turn on their light and shine!

Are you shining your own light too?

Love

Aileen

(by the way, the literal meaning of my name, which is a derivative of Helen, means “light”)

I’m in love with the whole atmosphere of calm, tranquility and wellness at our new Gaia Clinic, just a few minutes walk from my door! So much so, that on Wednesday I was there three times: boot camp first thing in the morning (ouch); a meeting with their new Operations Director (exciting) in the afternoon; and to an information session billed as Finding your Life Purpose in the evening.

Over the past couple of weeks the topic of Life Purpose has appeared in several ways: in a coaching session with a client, in a new activity I was designing for Destination Coach – and now it seemed this information session was calling me.

It was fine – nothing new, just a nice chat between me, the facilitator and the one other attendee. We used a process which I had known ten years ago – quite a nice formula for creating a statement that allegedly represents your life purpose. There are many of these formulas or exercises out there and they do serve to have you reflect on what your life’s purpose might mean to you.

My conclusion though – that we stop looking outside ourselves for this “miraculous answer” that’s going to somehow make sense of our purpose for being here. How about, we are more consciously purposeful with the life we already have and that we have because it’s the life we are meant to live. I think finding purpose will come from being purposeful!

Aileen

I am tired at the start of this week’s ski class. My mind is racing: will my legs last today; will I hurt myself if I’m too tired; will the instructor push us to something I don’t want to do; and on, and on. I take a deep breath.

The first run is an easy green track. The light is poor and I can’t see the terrain in front of me (that’s a good analogy for coaching). My instructor says trust your skis – just feel what the ground is like and be ready to compensate. That creates tension for me. We stop and look down a slope. The instructor says he thinks this is groomed but he can’t really see, the light is so poor. Over I go, anticipating a nice, wide groomed run, and am surprised to find ungroomed bumps – nothing drastic – but not what I was expecting. A couple of wobbly turns and I remember that I’d skiid bumps at last week’s class and could do this. I laughed at myself.

We move to a new part of the mountain – again a slope which I’ve skiid many times in the past and which holds memories. Why is it my mind remembers the icy, difficult times more readily than the glorious, powdery soft snow times. How come I anticipate it being difficult rather than easy?

The top part of the slope turns out to be easy and I follow the lesson instructions comfortably. Then over the dip I go to discover a large sheet of ice and I’m panicking again. I pick up speed and forget the lesson details I’m supposed to be focussing on.

This happens a couple of times and sitting on the chair going up for the third run, I ask myself “what is going on” that I do that wee panicky thing? I decide on a new strategy – next time it happens, I will stop (instead of hurling off at uncontrolled speed) and re-focus.

On our next run, the instructor gives us another tip to focus on. I ski off and am very comfortable on the first part of the run. We stop on a steep edge, looking down at the next part of the slope. I quieten the little voice that says “Oh, Oh that looks icy”  and remember my plan to focus!

That focus completely changes how I feel on my first turn. It’s solid, stable and actually feels good. The rest of the run is blissful!

One more run sees me flying down a steep slope I haven’t skiid for years. At the bottom I’m breathless, exhilarated and happy.

It’s later in the evening that I’m asking myself why that last run felt so good. At which point did my whole being change and I gave myself up to the skiing? I realise it was that first, really focussed turn – it set me up for a great ski run. My mind had stopped racing with negative thoughts, my focus was on doing (not thinking about) the techniques the instructor had given us and I was fully present and in my body. That’s the feeling I want to take with me next time to fully “BE” on the ski slopes.

Such an analogy for our coaching process. My ski instructor isn’t actually using a coaching technique. He kind of tells us how things should work and hopes we do it. He hasn’t once asked me “How did that feel, Aileen” – he’s more focussed on what I “do”. It was my self-coaching that helped me distinguish when I was in my head and what the difference was when I focussed on how I was feeling in my body instead.

This is what we mean when we become fully present as Coaches too. In a coaching conversation, our focus, enables our clients to speedily, confidently and trustingly tackle the slopes in their lives and work. One right question can create the solid, focussed point for them to turn on – and from which they can then have a blissful run home.

Aileen.

I went to bed (late) last night pondering on the illusion of time.

I had just come off a conference call with three of the IAC Strategic Committee members (a cause which chose me): one was in Hong Kong, one was in Australia and one was in Jerusalem.

It was already the 27th January with each of them. Technically it was still 26th January here in my office in Canmore. I realised I was already in “tomorrow”. I had time travelled.

It really helped me realise how our imposed definition of time is kind of irrelevant. Everything happens irrespective of how we define “time”. What we created last night was the space for a conversation that needed to happen and we all stepped into it, irrespective of what our clock hands showed. (Yes I do still have a clock with hands on it in my office).

Across that space and time I was connected in an amazing conversation – and that conversation made things move forward.

I often experience time in a similarly magical way when a coaching conversation goes deep and powerful. Logically it might seem as if the complexity of the topic cannot be tackled in, let’s say, the one hour allocated for it. And yet, when I tune out any concerns about whether we’ll “finish on time” – somehow we move through the conversation and the client comes to their outcome – JUST as our time is up.

I would just have liked to be also able to expand time a bit more before I had to get up at 6.00am this morning to go to exercise class! Never mind – I can convince myself that’s an illusion too and sleep-walk through it!

Have good TIME today!

Aileen